So, part of the reason why I haven’t been updating about ballet too much recently is that in all the craziness of going to Seattle, midterms, 3 day weekends, and other stressful events, I honestly haven’t even been going to class much. In the past 3 weeks I think I went to ONE class, which makes me feel sort of crappy, and also doesn’t give me much to tell you guys about.
So partly, the lack of ballet has been making me feel this way because I don’t get to do something I love and makes me happy, and partly it’s been making me feel down because I feel out of shape. But also part of the reason why I haven’t even been going in the first place is because the class itself has been bothering me.
Once the initial awesomeness and rush of being en pointe wore off, I realized that the class I am in isn’t really doing much for me. The class is for “intermediate ballet” students and there are only about 3 of us out of 30 that are en pointe. That means that all of the barre work is not at all created with pointe in mind, and I am not getting much attention.
I started realizing that I am more or less attempting to learn pointe on my own with no instruction from my teacher on the correct way of doing it. Like, she corrects me sometimes once I’m up, but she isn’t really telling me HOW to get up en pointe, or what muscles to use, or how the timing should be, or anything technical at all for that matter.
I’m starting to get scared that I am learning everything wrong and that when I graduate and have to find another ballet class I am going to just have to relearn everything from the beginning. Or that I am going to seriously injure myself because I am doing it wrong. I know this seems a bit dramatic, but I absolutely looove ballet and see it as something that I want to be doing for a long time to come. I don’t want to mess that possibility up now just because being en pointe is fun and new and exciting and beautiful.
I’m going to start researching other pointe classes in the area for adults, but I’m worried that they’ll be expensive or full of snotty skinny teenagers who will judge me and my midsection area. I don’t know if I should just go back to regular shoes for now in my current class until I figure this out, or just keep truckin’ along and hope that she teaches me more.
Any advice for me?